Today’s Truth
The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say (Exodus 4:11-12, NIV).
Friend to Friend
On the far side of a desert, high upon the mountain of God, a voice called out to Moses from within a curious, fiery bush. He had been tending the sheep of his father-in-law’s flock, minding his own business, going about his normal day-in-day-out tasks when God spoke to him from the flames. On the day that God called Moses to a fresh and fiery mission. A mission of deliverance.
Once a noble prince of Egypt with the world at his feet, Moses had become a lowly shepherd with dust on his sandals. His crown had been traded in for a staff. The palace days were far behind Moses now. He fled them because of what he had done. Glancing to his left and his right to be sure that no one would see what he was about to do, Moses took a horrible situation into his own hands and killed a man. He had murdered an Egyptian and covered the body with sand.
Fear and shame bombarded his heart so he fled—away from his dream-filled, royal future to a desert place of humble hiding. The door to his yesterdays was closed. Moses had moved on to a new place. His past was his past and he had no intention of returning to it. His life was different now. Normal, not noble.
Then God interrupted Moses’s new normal. He made it undeniably clear that His plans for Moses were different. Bigger. God’s intentions were for freedom—the freedom of His people, the Israelites, who were captives, slaves to Egypt. God called Moses to face the pains of his past so that the Israelites could face a future of freedom. His plans of emancipation required that Moses obey Him, listen to His voice, follow His instructions, and trust Him.
Moses quivered and doubted. He made excuses about why he couldn’t do it. He felt completely unfit and unqualified for such a task. It was risky. But God met Moses at his doubts. He called him to courage and went on to use Moses as an instrument of deliverance, truth, power, and freedom. Yes, Moses made mistakes along the way, but God was powerful in, through, and in spite of each one. Through it all, God led as only God can. He led with power. He led with purpose. He led with love. And through Moses, God led His people to a new place of promise and freedom.
On the far side of Charlotte, North Carolina, high upon a mountain in a retreat center, a voice called out to me from within a curious and fiery story. I had been tending to my husband and children, to the laundry and the dishes, writing songs and leading worship at women’s events, minding my own business, and going about my normal day-in-day-out tasks on the day that God spoke to my heart through the testimony of another woman. On the day that God called me to a fresh and fiery mission. A mission of deliverance.
Once a sold-out, dream-filled God-girl, I had become a grace-embracing yet disqualified-for-anything-big-because-of-what-I-had-done God-girl. My use-me-in-a-big-way-Lord prayers had been traded in for average can’t-have-a-dream-anymore faith-living. My God-dream days were far behind me. I had fled them because of what I had done in my junior year of college. Glancing to my left and right to be sure that no one would know what I was about to do, I took a horrible situation—an unplanned pregnancy—into my own hands and killed a baby. I robbed life from my own child when I had an abortion, and I covered over the death of my precious child with sands of compartmentalization and reason.
Fear and shame bombarded my heart, so I fled—away from God, away from my dream-filled, royal future to a desert place of heart-hiding. After a season of brokenness, God brought me to a place of beauty, forgiveness, and healing. I was restored and redeemed by scandalous, merciful grace. The door to my yesterdays was closed. I moved on to a new place in Christ. My past was my past and I had no intentions of returning to it—or to the God-dreams that swelled my heart when I was a young, sold-out Jesus lover. My life was different now. Normal, not dream-worthy.
Then God interrupted my new normal. He made it undeniably clear that His plans for me were different. Bigger. God’s intentions were for freedom—the freedom of His people, the women who were captives, slaves to their life-wounds. God called me to face the pains of my past so that my Girlfriends in God might face a future of freedom when they hear my testimony. His plans of emancipation required that I obey Him, listen to His voice, follow His instructions, and trust Him.
I quivered and doubted. I made excuses about why I couldn’t do it. I felt completely unfit and unqualified for such a task. It was risky. But God met me at my doubts. He called me to courage and is using my broken-into-beautiful story as an instrument of deliverance, truth, power, and freedom. Yes, I make mistakes along the way, but God is powerful in, through, and in spite of each one. Through each surrendered day, God is leading as only He can. With power, with purpose, with love. And I pray right now that this story—my story—will bring you to a new place of promise and freedom through the grace of Jesus Christ.
What fresh and fiery mission is God calling you to trust Him with, friend? Let me encourage you to stop with the excuses. I’m living proof that God will free anyone from her shame and can use anyone for His purpose. Step up to the burning bush—into God’s presence. Listen to His voice. Obey. Follow. Take courage. Trust Him with your past and with your tomorrows. Allow His grace and love to decide what your mission should look like.
But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power
and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.
(Exodus 9:16)
Let’s Pray
Dear God, with a trembling heart, I approach Your throne of grace today in reverence and humility, fully aware that You are holy and I am not. Speak, Lord. Show me the plans You have for me. Bind me to Your Word and to Your strength so I will have the courage to obey. May my brokenness be restored for the beauty of Your glory. Please help me to trust You with my today and my tomorrows. In Jesus’s name I pray, amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
- Take a few moments to consider where you’ve come from and where you feel God is leading you.
- Do you trust Him? Are you concerned about not being “able” or “qualified”?
- Commit your today and tomorrows to Him. Journal about what that might look like.
More from the Girlfriends
Welcome to my personal pulse. This type of transparency is always risky. My pulse races each time I expose the broken places of my past and my present – but GOD is always faithful to use it in some beautiful way. Some of you may feel this devotion was written specifically for you. Don’t ignore that. Explore it. Please come to my Facebook page today and share your heart with me. www.facebook.com/GwenSmithMusic. We will pray over each of you!
Gwen’s full testimony is featured in her book, Broken into Beautiful, along with Scriptural truths and stories of how God has brought restoration the hearts of many other women who had painful life wounds. God delights to transform lives … including your own. Experience God’s healing and hope in your life today as you read Broken Into Beautiful! To order the book, go to Amazon or, for a signed copy, visit Gwen’s website: www.gwensmith.net.
Today’s GiG devotion is adapted from Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland by permission of Multnomah, division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Gwen — each time you expose yourself like you did today, you are exposing God to each of us. Thank you for your honesty, bravery and commitment. Oh, how I love Jesus!
Hi, jus wanted to drop a note while starting my day… I was raised christain. My parents where ministers n it was very difficult to be normal. Tried it my whole life never got to normality. Point is no matter how hard and fast i tried running from calling i just got more n more test from God. I finally submitted to God. I began and am still reaching out to all the young woman that are friends on FB or jus passin thru. I comment on the hardships in my life. I show myself as an example. I am human not perfect. I needed to bring out my flaws so that man would be able to see God as mercy and grace not as man have portraid him to be.I have to say this day n age us young ppl got thickheaded stubborness lol i dunno if thats even words. Point is be who u know God to be not What man has told him to be. God has blessed me and is still blessing me because I am walking by faith and not by sight….
Thank you, Gwen, for a great devotional, and that you shared your very personal struggle with us. I believe God has been speaking to me about something that I don’t think I am able to do, and your devotion reminded me of that!
Gwen,
I can so relate to your story. I too did the same thing in my second year of college. Not once, but twice. It took me years to forgive myself. I had a private battle in my mind with the man. I also needed to forgive him. So, I wrote him a letter – 8 years later. I didn’t even know if it was going to reach him but I prayed to God that it would find him. I received a responce within 3 weeks. He said he too had often wondered how his life would have been different if he had only wanted to keep his babies and me in his life. He had none of his own, and had adopted his wife’s child, but was now divorced. I forgave him. I felt that God forgave me, and I forgave myself. I moved on from that experience, but it did cause me so much pain. I had also lost three children because I couldn’t carry them to full term. My first one was born at 29 weeks. He was only 2 pounds nine ounces. He struggled for 2 1/2 months at the Walter Reed Hospital NICU, and died in my arms on his due date. I lost another one at 5 months. I lost another one at 3 months. I had so much grief from losing my babies, but I gave it all to the Lord and finally gave him all the control over my entire life and threw my arms up into the sky so he could grasp onto me and pull me up into his arms. He did heal me, and he gave me a husband, and two sons and a daughter.
My life has been a struggle, but with Christ in my life and his strength and power of the holy spirit I know I can get through anything. My faith has made me stronger and I delight in his way and in his word. My journey has been blessed and theres a long way to go yet.
I’m not totally healed – it’s such a big process. I’m writing a book on grief now.
I wanted to tell you thank you for your songs of praise, and for your postings. I do share with my girlfriends and I get so blessed from your positngs.
May God continue to bless you and keep you safe in his loving arms,
Susan Douglas
Thank you for reminding me that “I am qualified”. Even though most times I don’t feel worthy. He’s sure using your messages this week to assure and confirm that He is with me at EVERY step I take to seek His heart. Thanks again.
I loved this devotion. I tried to post on FB but don’t think it worked. God is in the process of revealing things about myself that have been hidden for a long time. He led me to read What Women Fear by Angie Smith & currently Beth Moore’s book on insecurity, then I read this devotion! WOW! God is so talking to me. I am almost 66, a lifelong believer, yet went through a major rebellion just a few years ago. God has been walking me through divorce (after 30 yrs), major illness that caused retirement from a career I loved & was very passionate about. To say my life has changed is an understatement. I have felt I no longer had a right to have a “God dream) but in His love, grace and messages like yours I am learning He has more, lots more for me to do in His timing. Thank you, thank you for sharing your journey!
Thank You for your honeat “Heart beat” to us GIG girls You have freed alot of women to a “Confession of Hope” prayer of true forgiveness. I can relate. I praise Him for my break thru Heart Beat too.
A couple of years ago, I gave up a precious little foster child because I was moving out of the country… but also because I felt, I was not good enough to be her foster mom… I have held that regret in my heart because I loved her so and I prayed for another little girl and God brought her to me then I “gave her back”… I felt guilty for letting her down, then later felt guilty for “giving back” a gift God had given to me…. I felt so so bad and my heart broke… God has given me forgiveness, but my heart still hurts sometimes… I miss her so very much… I pray that God will allow her to forgive me as she remembers the day I left her… I was another mommy who left her…That was a sad day… I am trusting that one day, God will completely heal my heart but also that the Lord will heal that precious little little girl and she will one day know the Love of Jesus.
I have been struggling with this for over a year. 19 months ago I was put into a rehab by my family after almost killing myself by taking too many sleeping pills and drinking a huge bottle of wine. Leaving my children to find me laying in my own vomit and unable to wake me up! This wasn’t the first time. I had been drinking and taking prescription pills that way for 3 years. The night that happened – I honestly believe I would be fine if I never woke up! I knew God and was a Christian (to a point). I knew His healing power – yet He refused to answer my prayers and heal me! I was furious at Him. My first weekend in rehab I went into the chapel and laid on the floor face down. I don’t know how long I laid there! But I let it all go! I let God!!! He wants to heal us when we ask! We have to be willing to let go of what is holding us down. Guilt, fear, stubbornness, unforgiveness, even pride!! Let go and let God! Ever since that night in the chapel – I haven’t so much as thought about taking a drink! I’ve had disappointments but I go to God now – not a drink! God can make you new!! You have to let Him!! I know He left me in that valley for a reason! His hand of mercy and grace were constantly with me or I would have died so many times! and believe me I should have. I declare that I will show others His love and how He can restore you! He loves us so much! Lay at His feet and allow Him to restore you!! In His Name!!
This helped me out tremendously today… I’ve always felt inadequate, because of my lack of book smarts… I was never the girl you had the good grades or the highest GPA, so I’ve always downed myself when I felt a push from God leading me to do more… I too have had two abortions and you know the guilt making that kind of decision TWICE and not to mention I had horrible up-bringing! I always felt bound by my past— my up-bringing, my mistakes, my sins etc. This devotion opened my eyes to realize that God really doesn’t call the qualified! I am so grateful for you beautiful women of God! The GiG devotionals always speak directly to my situation and always gives me HOPE! Bless you all!
this site is soo sweet i like it because it make me to feel good and change my life …amne
Awesome! Praise GOD.
Gwen
Thank you for your courage to tell your story. Thank you for your willingness to allow God to do His work through you.
Lacey,
It’s funny. My story is not the one I want. I wish it wasn’t my past, but it is. GRACE, through Christ, is the game-changer.
Makes what was seemingly un-redeemable into a powerful display of restoration. Gotta love it. Gotta love HIM! 
In Him,
Gwen
Gwen,
Thank you for this devotion today. It hit me right where I am. My story is very different from yours, however God is teaching me that He still has a plan for me, I must seek Him, trust Him, and watch Him work in and through me. The work is for Him to do…through me. I watched the remake of the movie, the Ten Commandments, the other night. I was reminded how Moses didn’t measure up to anything. He was an Eqyptian royal, but never believed in the ONE-TRUE God, was in the midst of just learning about God, when his temper got the best of him; He killed a man. God sent him away from his prior life, forgave him, and called him to a a new work, a God-breathed mission and purpose for his life. Moses didn’t deserve it, God just did it for Moses. I needed to be reminded that although I am 57 years old and newly divorced after 37 years, God still wants me to follow him. When I am torn up inside, feel defiled, betrayed, unloved, don’t know where or to whom I belong, and don’t even know what to do, God knows what I should do. He loves me, I belong to Him, and He has a purpose for my life…even now. I am learning to take one moment at a time, one decision at a time, one action at a time, and to wait on the Lord to show me one step at a time. He directs my steps. To slow down, to deliberately take one step at a time, is a life altering way to live in this fast-paced world. But God is in the moment, He is in our lifetimes. Praise Him for His love, mercy, comfort and strength.Thank you Gwen for sharing your story in order to encourage others.
Oh, Bobbi! Praise GOD that He spoke so personally through this Scripture passage and through my story. Sounds like the LORD is surely reminding you of important and truthful lessons! Keep leaning in to listen to His voice through His Word. He’s the God who loves to take broken people and turn their lives into His work of beauty in Christ.
Warm GiG Hugs and blessings,
gwen
Awesome devotion!
Thanks! Glad the LORD blessed your heart with it!
All glory to HIM.
Warmly in Christ,
gwen
i’ve been reading Exodus on my own, trying to get a grasp on the faith that Moses had, trying to strengthen my own faith…tonight, feeling stressed, and not wanting to get full into the WORD, i turned to GIG for a quick devotional. clicked on the title of this devotional, not realizing it was perfect and went right along with my personal studies! God is using me and FAITH is a big key in my being used…i don’t know how or what He’s doing, but i sense it strongly! praying that my husband will be fully on board as God works in and through me! thank you for sharing your God with me!
That rocks, Sarah! God is so cool to intertwine things like this, isn’t He?
Keep seeking the LORD and asking Him to prepare the way. He will contend with and direct the heart of your husband… in His perfect timing. (Which is often different than “our perfect timing” – right!?) 
His WORD is the place to be, friend!
Blessings,
Gwen
Just what I needed! When I woke this morning I could almost feel the panic and despair overcome me. What am I going to do? How am I going to provide for our two young children? My husband of 18years and bread winner of the family suffered multiple strokes and the doctors are not sure if he will recover. What will tomorrow hold for us? What am I supposed to do? Your devotion this morning reminded me that He is in control. He will take care of our tomorrows if I just listen and let Him. I too am qualified.
Great writing! I like the way you explain God’s word and include how Moses was feeling and how he was torn. I think making comparisons helps us to see ourselves in the word. I appreciate your message and I really loved it! Thank YOU!
Thank you so much for your openness. I appreciated it and was reminded of how I used to have that “Go anywhere, do anything for God” mentality. I need to get back to that and dream big like I used to. Thanks again.
Diamond
Absolutely! That’s surely the way He wants us to live! May we all return to our First Love fresh each day.
Blessings,
Gwen
My God is so good and wonderful, miraculous and all powerful, loving and forgiving. Your story hit cords in me this morning so much that I am sitting at my desk and crying as I read your story and the reponses. I was feeling so overwhelmed because my life story is so bad (much worst than any I have read and heard). Abortion, adultery, lies… About five months ago the Lord took hold of me and brought me back to Him and He has been working so much in and on me. I can identify so much with Sarah…that God always gives me the answers when I need them most. He is in everything. Earlier I had read Joni’s story on GIG (“God can resurrect your marriage from the Ashes”) and then went to the ladies room and prayed again asking the Lord to fix my own broken marriage and restore what was lost for my family. Was my marriage to broken to fix. Could forgiveness and restoration be for me? I came back and this devotion was the one I clicked on and read. Thank God that I am broken but beautiful and everyday I thank the Lord for His unfathomable love. It gets so hard sometimes to face the truth about myself and to hold on to God’s promises – but I know his promises are true and I will hold on as long as he lends me breath. Whether my marriage works out or otherwise. Although the enemy tries always to throw my old ways into my face and remind me that I am nothing, I am convinced that God has a bigger plan for my life – more than I can even imagine. Thank you Gwen for sharing your story and may God continue to use you to help us women who have fallen but by God’s grace are getting up again and finding our place in his plan for us. Thank you so much.
Like you, I’m freshly overwhelmed with God’s grace today. SO blessed that He is ministering to you so intimately through these devotions. All glory and praise to HIS name!
In Christ,
gwen