Proverbs 14:1 (NCV) “A wise woman strengthens her family, but a foolish woman destroys hers by what she does.” 

Friend to Friend

Family means different things to different people. What is a family? Well, I can tell you that a family is no longer simple. Family is complex and has changed to include many different relationships. But the bottom line is that family is a group of persons with whom you are doing life. Family is where we learn about God then live out the very nature and character of God in relationships.  Family is important to God. He created it before He created the church and, as with each of His creations, He made a plan for it to succeed. At the heart of that plan is love. To trust God with our family demands that we first love and trust God in our own lives then allow that love to spill over into our family.

What a crazy day it had been! It was a day probably like many of yours. I was a young mom with two small children. My husband was the youth pastor at a large church in town. I taught a weekly Bible study for senior high girls and directed a youth choir that practiced one night a week and sang for the early worship service every Sunday. We hosted a youth Bible study in our home every Monday night … and, well, you get the idea. My schedule was almost to the point of ridiculous, and I was exhausted most of the time. But this particular day had been crazier than most. Both kids had a cold and were grumpy. The house was a mess, the laundry was piled high, and I had a meeting at church that night. I was counting the minutes until my husband came walking through the front door. I needed rescuing. The phone rang. “Honey, I won’t be able to make it home before church visitation tonight,” Dan said. He sounded so tired that I could not muster up one ounce of anger. Instead, I shifted into overdrive. I snatched both kids off of the backyard swing, plopped them in the bathtub for a quick rinse and impatiently shoved little arms and legs into clean clothes while spooning food into little mouths before firmly depositing both kids in their car seats. Off we went to church for the third night in a row.

At a stop sign, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw two miserably silent children, tears streaming down their sad little faces. I heard His voice, “Mary, what are you doing and who are you doing it for?” My heart broke. I suddenly realized that I was running the race of life for the wrong audience. Turning the car around, I headed home.

“Hey guys! Would you like to go home, put on your pajamas, make some cookies and watch a movie with me?” Cheers and clapping erupted from the back seat as tears gave way to smiling faces, and laughter and giggles filled the car and my heart. It has been over twenty years and I still remember that precious night of ministry.

Women are so busy. As believers, we delight in finding creative ways to touch hearts and are often passionate about introducing those hearts to God’s love, forgiveness and transforming power – and rightly so. However, I wonder how many of us miss the hungry hearts that greet us each morning across the breakfast table or wait for us to come home each night. Do we overlook a child’s silent longing for the kind of love that is spelled “t-i-m-e?” Do we miss the opportunity to encourage a weary husband who has, once again, returned home without a job? When was the last time you gave your parents a hug and thanked them for everything they have done for you over the years? Do your grandparents know how valuable their legacy of love and wisdom is to you? We make the erroneous assumption that the people in our lives know how we feel about them. Do they? And even if they do know, wouldn’t it be great to tell them again?

It is so easy to lose focus and scramble priorities. We get so busy doing good things and miss one of the highest things God created us to do – family. Our public life is only as valid as our private life. Family is the perfect framing for God’s highest work, the litmus test for authentic service and our greatest opportunity to meet needs in His name.

When our daughter, Danna, was a little girl, one of her favorite activities was to color a page in what she called her “special” coloring book. The book had several “special” pages, one in particular being a dull, gray picture of a butterfly. Frankly, I couldn’t understand her excitement. When I asked why she liked that picture so much, Danna grinned and said, “Watch, Mommy!” She rubbed her little hands together to create warmth; then laid them on the butterfly drawing. The touch of her hand caused the special inks in the printing to react, and the dull gray was transformed into a vivid rainbow of color.

Everyone is hungry for the warm touch of someone who cares – a kind word, an act of compassion, a hug of encouragement. I believe God created the family to be the first place where that hunger is best satisfied. Yet, I am amazed that we can stand in silence, watching homes, marriages and families disintegrate before our very eyes. Silence is agreement. It is time for us, as women of God, to boldly stand against anyone and anything that undermines our marriage or threatens the solidarity of our family. It is time for us to trust God for and with our families.

Let’s Pray

Father, I want to please You by the way I love my family. Today, I choose to see each family member through your eyes of love and mercy. I will wage peace in my family. I will be quick to forgive and slow to condemn. I will encourage my family members with my words, my prayers, my love and my time. I want my home to be a safe place filled with kindness and compassion, a place that illustrates Your presence and power. Today, I choose to trust my family to God.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now it’s Your Turn

Read the following verses of Scripture. Make a list of the action words in each verse. After completing the list, come up with steps you can take to illustrate the character of God in your family relationships.

• Proverbs 31:26-28 (NCV) “She speaks wise words and teaches others to be kind. She watches over her family and never wastes her time. Her children speak well of her. Her husband also praises her.”

• 1 Timothy 5:8 (NCV) “Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God.”

• Galatians 6:10 (NIV) “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

• Ephesians 1:5 (NLT) “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.” 

More from the Girlfriends

For more information on learning how to trust God with your family, check out Mary’s video download, How to Love Your Family. Need help learning how to live a life of power and purpose? Check out Mary’s weekly online Bible Study, How to Dress for Success and learn how to live a life of victory. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Sharon, Gwen and Mary’s new 12-week devotion book, Trusting God, is now available. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures…this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

In my last 4 devotions, I’ve looked at steps to taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I’m proud of you for sticking with it! Today’s the last of the series. If you’ve missed any of the series, you can read them all on my blog at www.sharonjaynes.com. Let’s review:

Step One: Recognize the Enemy’s True Identity

Step Two: Recognize Satan’s Lies

Step Three: Reject the Lies

And today we’re looking at step four: Replace the lies with the Truth

Just as Satan tempted Eve in the Garden, he tried to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. How did Jesus fight the enemy? He fought him with Scripture – He conquered him with the truth. Each time Satan put an evil thought before Him, Jesus said, “It is written….”

It is not a sin to be tempted. The Bible says that Jesus was tempted and yet did not sin.  It becomes a sin when we act on the thought or accept the lie as truth. As Martin Luther once said, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hat.”

Let me give you this example. I believe that Satan sends us e-mails all day long (evil-mails). If you get a seductive e-mail on the screen of your computer, is it your fault? Not unless you’ve placed yourself on some bad e-mail lists. When does that e-mail become a sin? The moment you click on it and accept the invitation.

Likewise, when the enemy tempts you to believe a lie, the temptation is not sin. It becomes sin if you accept the thought as your own and act on it. Your responsibility is to delete the lie and replace it with the truth.

When it comes to defeating Satan, Dr. Neil Anderson said it well: “You don’t have to out shout him or out muscle him to be free of his influence. You just have to out truth him.”

Below are some common lies of the enemy and the truth that “demolishes” them. I have listed each lie in the first person, “I,” because that is how the enemy puts them into our thoughts.

Satan’s Lie Nobody loves me.

God’s Truth  For God so loved the world, He gave  His only Son.  (John 3:16)

Satan’s Lie I’m not able to do this job. I don’t have the right gifts.

God’s Truth Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but

our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new

covenant. (2 Corinthians 3:5)

Satan’s Lie God couldn’t love me.

God’s Truth  How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be

called children of God! (I John 3:1)

Satan’s Lie I’m so worried about this. I can’t help it.

God’s Truth Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving; present your requests to God. And the peace of God which

transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:6)

Satan’s Lie I’m a loser.

God’s Truth I have been blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in

Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

Satan’s Lie  I can’t help myself.

God’s Truth Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  (James 4:7)

In order to win the battle for our minds, we must refuse the lies and replace them with the truth. The more we think on the truth quicker we will recognize the lies and replace them with truth.

Girlfriend, I’m proud of you for sticking with me these five days. T he Bible says “Wisdom brightens a [woman’s] face and changes its hard appearance” (Ecclesiastes 8:1 NIV).  I’d say you are absolutely glowing. Stunning.

Let’s Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, today I am choosing to believe the truth. Help me realize the enemy’s true identity, recognize the lies, reject the lies, and replace his lies with Your truth.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

It’s seems the key to this entire process of taking every thought captive is knowing and applying the truth! So let’s commit 2 Corinthians 10:5 to memory. In this series, I quoted from several different translations. Chose the translation that is most comfortable for you and write this verse on a card. Put it on your dashboard, by your kitchen sink, or on your bathroom mirror.

See if you can name the four steps to taking every thought captive without looking.

Had to look? That’s OK.You might want to write them on the back of  your 2 Corinthians 10:5 the index card.

Visit me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and tell me where you’re going to put your card!

More From the Girlfriends

Whew!  It takes a lot of thinking to think about our thinking. Now that was confusing! If getting a grip on your thoughts and emotions is something that you would like to read more about, see Sharon’s book, I’m Not Good Enough..and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. You’ll learn how to apply God’s transforming power to your life, and  you’ll find a handy reference guide of 75 common lies women believe and the truths with which to replace them.

Friend to Friend
In my past three devotions, we looked at two steps for taking every thought captive. Today, let’s look at step three:Reject the Lie.

Once I had a door-to-door vacuum salesman come to my house. To my detriment, I let him in. Before I could convince him I did not need a new vacuum cleaner, he had his demonstration trash sprinkled all over my foyer floor. Almost two hours later, I finally got him to leave.

What was my first mistake? You know it! My first mistake was to let him cross the threshold of my doorway and enter my house. Once he was in, it was difficult to get him out. It is the same way with our thoughts. Once we entertain a thought, once we allow the “salesman” to scatter his “trash” in our minds, it is hard to dismiss it or push it back out again. The place of easiest victory is at the threshold; don’t even let the trash in the door. It has been said, “Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind.”  I think victory is possible once the thought has passed over the threshold, but it sure will save us a lot of heartache and pain if we begin to recognize Satan’s lies and reject them from the start.

Let’s go back to 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and dig a little deeper by discovering the rich meaning of some of the key words in the original Greek language of the New Testament.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

This verse tells us that through Christ, we have the power to demolish strongholds. What is a stronghold? The Greek word for stronghold is echo, meaning, “to hold fast.” A derivation of that same word, echuroma means “a stronghold, fortification, fortress.” Bible teacher, Beth Moore, describes them as “anything in our lives that we hold on to that ends up holding us.” They are formed when thoughts or habit patterns “echo” time and time again in our minds. They are negative thoughts that are burned into our minds through repetition (such as verbal abuse) or a one-time traumatic incident (such as a rape). These thought patterns have the potential to grab hold of a mind and rule a life.  Many strongholds are built brick-by-brick for protection, but inevitably they become prisons. Beth goes on to say, “No matter what the stronghold may be, they all have one thing in common: Satan is fueling the mental tank with deception to keep the stronghold running.”

The word demolish implies a kind of destruction requiring tremendous power – divine power.  One reason many Christians have remained in a yoke of slavery to past sins and lies of the enemy is because they swat at strongholds like they are mosquitoes instead of blasting them with the truth like they are concrete fortresses formed by years of construction.

We cannot destroy demonic strongholds on our own strength even on our best days.  The Holy Spirit can destroy strongholds with His power even on our worst days. The power of the Holy Spirit is the Greek word dunamous, which is where we get the word dynamite. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”

The verse goes on to describe another area that needs to be destroyed.“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.”  I don’t know about you, but on a few occasions, (OK, on more occasions than I can count) I have argued with God and against the knowledge of God. Guess what? God always wins.

The Greek word for arguments is logismos, meaning “a reckoning, calculation, consideration, reflection.” A calculated thought might be a conclusion that you are a failure, after you have failed at something. That seems logical. It all adds up. Upon reflection, it seems highly probable. However, that’s not what the Truth says. It is against the knowledge of God. Regardless of your calculations, God says you are a saint who has been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, a child of God, and a co-heir with Christ. You are not a failure and you need to reject the lie. When the thought comes into your head, simply say, “I reject that thought. It is a lie of the enemy and not the truth of God. I failed in this instance, but I am not a failure.”

So far we’ve looked at three steps to taking every thought captive:

Step One:  Recognize the Enemy’s True Identity

Step Two: Recognize Satan’s Lies

Step Three:  Reject the Lies

Join me next time as we look at the final step to taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

Let’s Pray
Dear Father, I’ll admit that I toy with thoughts that I know are not true. I feel sorry for myself, entertain thoughts of rejection, and sometimes even feel like nobody loves me.  Those are lies. All of them. Right now, I commit to reject the lies of the enemy as soon as the thought comes into my head. Thank you for the truth that sets us free from feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and inadequacy. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength – and that’s the truth.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
I want you to write down five lies that you tend to believe about yourself and leave some space between them. Now, I want you to write down a truth from the Bible for each one that lets you know it is a lie.

Let me get you started.
Lie: I can’t do anything right.
Truth: I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Lie: Nobody ever prays for me.
Truth: Jesus said: “I pray for …those you have given me. John 17:9

I’d love to hear your truth to replace a lie. It might be just what one of your GiGs needs to hear. Share the lie and the corresponding truth to replace the lie at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.

More from the Girlfriends
This series of lessons is taken from Sharon’s book, Becoming Spiritually Beautiful– Seeing Yourself from God’s Perspective. However, the lessons had such a great impact, she wrote a follow-up book, I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves that goes into much greater detail on how to overcome the lies of the enemy. If this is an area where you struggle, I’m Not Good Enough is the book for you. You can find both on her website. This resource will help you change that stinkin’ thinkin’ and see yourself as God sees you!

Friend to Friend
Discipline is obedience, a lifetime process that brings us to a state of order by training and controlling our behavior. Discipline is focusing and eliminating, zeroing in on what is important in every area of life. Discipline not only leads to right thinking, pleasing behavior and balanced emotions but also produces a purpose-driven life based on right goals and priorities.

Time management is a dreaded and often ignored spiritual discipline for many of us. We have either forgotten or failed to realize the truth that our minutes, hours and days are precious commodities — gifts from God that can be unwrapped only once. Time is wasted unless it is invested in goals and priorities that are rooted in God’s plan.

A busy life is not necessarily a productive life, girlfriends. Oh, I can hear it now! “I am very busy, but I am busy doing good things.” Those words were the cry of my heart just before I crashed and burned and landed in a pit of clinical depression. The problem with my list of “good things” was that it was just that – my list – which was the wrong list formy life. The result was exhaustion, burnout and disobedience.

One of the most important lessons of my “pit experience” was that my perspective of time was skewed. I had poured years into making my plan successful only to discover the truth that God resources and empowers His plan alone. Outlook determines outcome. It was painfully obvious I needed an outlook adjustment, an eternal perspective. I needed to understand the truth that my time is not really mine to do with as I please. It is a resource on loan to me from God. As a result, every plan, priority and goal should be held against the backdrop of eternity because it is from that backdrop that our priorities are validated, our calling confirmed and our time best invested.

Learning how to trust God with our time is a challenge for us all. I am, by no means, an expert in this area, but I do want to share some simple ideas that have worked for me.

Tithe your time. Just as we tithe our money, we should tithe our time. God blesses and multiplies the time we set aside to spend in Bible study, prayer and service.

Get organized.  In 1 Corinthians 14:40, we are challenged to “do all in a fitting and orderly way.” In other words, being organized is a spiritual discipline, freeing us from the tyranny of the urgent while making room for the eternal things that matter. Here are some simple organizational tips:

·         Buy and keep a calendar. Writing things down keeps me from wasting time and “bunching up” activities. It takes the pressure off to remember everything and allows me to see, at a glance, what is important.My weeks and months are more evenly scheduled and I am forced to prioritize, doing the important things first.

·         Choose one day a week to plan. Every Sunday afternoon, I plan the week ahead, recording the main tasks I need to complete and scheduling the appointments I need to make and keep. Pray over your week, asking the Holy Spirit to make clear those things ordained for each day.

·         Simplify and eliminate.Experts advise us to approach spring cleaning by dealing with one closet at a time. The same principle works with time management. Break jobs up into manageable steps so that the large tasks seem doable.

·         Tackle the dreaded task first.I have discovered that tackling the job I dread the most energizes me for the rest of the tasks. I have also learned to use my best time, the time of the day when my energy is highest, for the most important and the most difficult tasks.

·         Stop activity when it becomes unproductive. Sometimes, a 10 minute break will boost energy, refocus attention and get creative juices flowing.

·         Begin a task, even if you won’t have time to complete it. I hate doing laundry and frequently long for the day of disposable clothing. As a result, I often do the laundry in phases. For example, I will start the wash and go answer email. I then toss the wet clothing into the dryer and work on a writing assignment. You get the idea!

·         Delegate.When we delegate work to our children, we are teaching them godly discipline as well as basic life skills they need to learn. The church is filled with people waiting to be pushed out of their comfort zones in service. Look for those potential leaders and delegate.

·         Leave margins in your schedule.I tend to fill every time slot during the day. Therefore, when the “unexpected” comes along, I am overwhelmed and unprepared. Building margins of time into our schedules is a step of faith, trusting God to fill them in any way He chooses.

·         Yield to the seasons of life.When my children were small, I did not travel and speak as much as I do now. Do not sacrifice your family on the altar of a career or even a ministry. Our greatest mission field is our home, our marriage and our children. It does not matter how much we do or how successful we are, if home and family get the leftovers of our time, energy, emotions and spiritual service, we are walking in sin and disobedience.

Let’s face it. If we don’t set priorities — others will. Time thieves will steal our time as we allow them to impose their plans and standards on us. While it is true that different women have different priorities and different seasons of life, it is also true that one priority remains steadfast. Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God…” Once that priority is firmly established, the rest of life will surely fall into place, and we will be trusting God with our time.

Let’s Pray
Father, I want to live a life of power and purpose. I now surrender my time to You, Lord, and choose to invest each moment wisely. I will no longer put off doing what I know You want me to do. I will line up my priorities according to Your Word and will seek to be more disciplined with my time. I will set boundaries that please and honor God. Today, I choose to trust You with my time.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
Read the following verses of Scripture. Memorize at least one and record it in your journal. What one new truth has God given you about time through today’s devotional?

·         Psalm 90:12 (ESV) “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

·         Ecclesiastes 3:1 (ESV) “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

·         Psalm 39:4-5 (ESV) “O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!”

More from the Girlfriends
For more help learning how to manage time, check out Mary’s E-Bible Study, Time: Friend or Foe. Need help learning how to live a life of power and purpose? Check out Mary’s weekly online Bible Study, How to Dress for Success and learn how to live a life of victory. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Sharon, Gwen and Mary’s new 12-week devotion book, Trusting God, is now available. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures…this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

“[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),  (2 Corinthians 10:5 AMP).

Friend to Friend

My neighbor, Michael, was a stand-in for Samuel, the nine-year-old son of Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson) in the movie The Patriot. For months, Michael wore his hair long with extensions, donned Italian knickers and knee-high stockings and acted the part of an American colonial boy. He traveled to rural South Carolina where part of the movie was filmed and received an education in the production of the silver screen. Michael saw how producers and makeup artists made something appear as though it were real when it wasn’t.

The movie was rated R for violent content, but his parents let nine-year-old Michael watch it upon release. It was a bloody realistic reenactment of the horrors of the Revolutionary War. However, during the guts and gore, little Michael didn’t even bat an eye. Why? He knew it wasn’t real.

During one scene, Mel Gibson pummeled a British soldier and landed a hatchet square in the middle of his bloody forehead. I covered my eyes. Michael watched nonplussed. His comment?

“That guy walked around the set with that hatchet in his head for three days. We even ate lunch together and he had that hatchet with fake blood glued to his face. It isn’t real.”

Michael knew what was true and it removed all fear. That’s the power of the truth.   Yesterday we looked at step one to taking every thought captive. Today let’s look at step two:

Step One: Realize the Enemy’s True Identity

Step Two: Recognize Satan’s Lies

In 2 Corinthians 2:11 Paul says, “For we are not unaware of his (Satan’s) schemes.” So let’s take a few moments and look at his battle plan.

If Satan came to you in a little red suit with a pitchfork and announced himself as the devil, you wouldn’t believe a word he said. But he is cunning and disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). When he deceived Eve, he even quoted Scripture – albeit twisted and distorted. He has a collection of old tapes from your past and pushes rewind and play, rewind and play. Oh yes, he knows just which buttons to push. He also uses personal pronouns like “I” instead of “you.” The thoughts sound something like this: “I am a failure. I am a loser. I can’t do anything right. I am ugly.” The thoughts sound like you, feel like you, and before you know it, you think it is you. He did this all throughout Scripture and he still does it today. (See 1 Chronicles 21:1 as an example.)

Satan knows exactly which lies to whisper in your ear. He has watched you over the years and is well acquainted with your insecurities, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. Do you tend to get discouraged? He will plant seeds of discouragement in your mind. Do you tend to feel rejection and loneliness? He will put ideas that you are rejected in your mind. But are they true? No they are not. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. You are loved and chosen by God. That is the truth.

Here’s a simple exercise.  If you aren’t sure if a thought is of the enemy, attach, “In Jesus Name,” to the end of it. For example: “I can’t stand that woman, in Jesus’ Name.”  “I don’t love my husband, in Jesus’ Name.”  “I am a loser, in Jesus Name.”  Just doesn’t fit, does it? That is not a fail-safe method for detecting the truth versus a lie, but it is a quick litmus test that takes us in the right direction.

Step two in taking every thought captive is Recognizing Satan’s Lies.

Join me next time as we look at step three to taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. But before we get there, you’ll get to visit with another one of the GiGs.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Help me to recognize Satan’s lies. I know the only way to recognize a lie is to know the truth. I pray that the Holy Spirit will convict me when I am believing a lie and that He will help me see Your truth.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Think of some of the negative thoughts that have run through your mind this week. Now attach “in Jesus’ Name” to the end of that thought. What does that reveal?

What are some lies that you have believed about who you are? For example: I am a loser. I can’t do anything right. I am used goods. I can never be forgiven. I am too far gone.

Friend, each one of those statements is a lie of the enemy. Now, who does God say that you are? Not sure? Take a look at the list found on my Free Resource page. Visit my website at www.sharonjaynes.com, go to the Free Resource tab and click on Life Living Resources.

More from the Girlfriends

This series of lessons were originally written in Sharon’s book,
Becoming Spiritually Beautiful – Seeing Yourself from God’s Perspective. However, these particular lessons had such a great impact, she wrote a follow-up book, I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves that goes into much greater detail on how to overcome the lies of the enemy. If this is an area where you struggle, I’m Not Good Enough is the book for you. You can find both on her website at www.sharonjaynes.com.

Friend to Friend
C.S. Lewis called pride a “spiritual cancer” that devours love and contentment. Pride is a sign of our own insecurity and feelings of inferiority. Pride and inferiority are actually opposite sides of the same coin and are both sin, a preoccupation with self that leaves little room for God’s spirit of humility.

We all struggle with pride and must constantly battle the tendency to measure every circumstance and relationship against the narcissistic viewpoint of “What’s in it for me?” Pride has no place in the life of a Christian because pride steps between God and us. To think that God stands in opposition against prideful people is a strong and sobering statement that should send us all running to the place of humility. Because He is a loving Father, God opposes pride, in part, for what it does to His children. “Pride will destroy a person; a proud attitude leads to ruin. It is better to be humble and be with those who suffer than to share stolen property with the proud” (Proverbs 16:18-19). Learning to deal with pride is an important and essential part of spiritual growth.

Pride will prevent us from seeing others as God sees them. Pride will hold us back from laying down our expectations and rights in order to reach out to those who cross our path. Pride will slowly erode the humble spirit God so wants to see in His people and in their relationships. I suspect that a good dose of humility would cure many of our failing marriages, broken family relationships and struggling friendships. Then the question becomes, how can we eliminate pride and prevent it from carving out a destructive stronghold from which relationship problems arise. The answer is found in a passage of scripture written by the apostle Paul and directed to the church in Rome.

Romans 12:3 -6;10 “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Paul certainly understood what it meant to struggle with pride. Before his encounter with Christ, Paul had been a man of great arrogance. After all, he was a power broker in the Roman government as well as a highly regarded and chief persecutor of anyone following Jesus Christ. Little did Paul know what the road to Damascus held for him that day when God interrupted Paul’s life with His blinding love and His unparalleled power. Everything changed. Paul became a humble man, the walking definition of a servant, delighting in his new role of striving to be last among the least. Paul understood that he was a trophy of grace; that his heart had been captured by grace and his life completely transformed in the process. God’s grace was Paul’s starting place and finish line and the very reason Paul was so humble and so powerful. It is such a paradox in God’s economy of life that in order to be strong we must choose weakness and in order to be first we must be content with last.

The amazing truth is that grace is ours for the asking. God stands ready to pour His priceless grace into every heart and soul while watching grace work to generate an unexplainable peace, eternal life, unending joy, and freedom from sin through unconditional love. Grace offers us the riches of God, at the expense of Jesus Christ and His death on the cross.

Pride’s goal is to make us independent of God, duping us into believing that we are in control of our own fate and are able to call our own shots. What audacity we possess as humans to think we can live life on our own when, whether we admit it or not, we are totally dependent on God and even our very next breath is a gift from His hand. Pride convinces us that we can play God, worshipping ourselves while erecting false idols shrouded in rebellion and sin. Pride is the universal religion of hell and a deadly poison. It’s antidote? Grace.

A friend told me about a new product she found listed online. “Disposable Guilt Bags” first appeared in a few select stores to test the market. I could have told the inventor that guilt exists in abundance and that people will go to any lengths to assuage their guilt. My friend explained that you could buy a set of Disposable Guilt Bags, ten ordinary brown bags on which were printed the following instructions: “Place the bag securely over your mouth then take a deep breath and blow out all of your guilt. Close the bag and dispose of immediately.” The amazing part of this story is that the Associated Press reported that over 2500 kits had sold immediately at $2.50 per kit.

Nothing on this earth is powerful enough to erase guilt. We try to “fix” ourselves but fail. The only power that makes it possible to be forgiven is God’s grace. “In Christ we are set free by the blood of his death. And so we have forgiveness of sins because of God’s rich grace” (Ephesians 1:7). When our lives are lived against the backdrop of grace, pride will die from a lack of attention.

Let’s Pray
Lord, please forgive my arrogant heart. I am so sorry for the pride I see in my life. Today, I ask You to search my heart and destroy the strongholds of pride and ego. Help me to recognize prideful thoughts and actions in my life. Give me the discernment to be honest and transparent before You and before others. I, too, am a trophy of grace. Help me to live like one.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Now it’s your turn
Read the following verses and answer each question:

• Psalm 10:4 “In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God” (NIV). How does pride affect our relationship with God? Is this true in your life?

• Proverbs 16:5 “The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished” (NIV). What is God’s attitude toward those who are proud?

• Psalm 40:4 “Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods” (NIV). How does pride encourage idolatry? Do you have any idols in your life? Name them and eliminate them.

What decision do you need to make today in order to choose grace over pride? What would that look like in your daily life?

More from the Girlfriends
Guilt is one of Satan’s favorite ways to discourage us. Enough! We are daughters of the King and children of Grace. Learn who you are in God’s eyes through Mary’s message, In His Eyes. Mary’s weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey, will help you learn how to face and deal with the pain in your life. Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Friend to Friend
In my last devotion, we looked at 2 Corinthians 10:5 and the idea of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. We compared it to roping a calf in a lassoing contest. Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind; right as the calf comes bursting through the door. Let’s look at four simple steps for taking every thought captive and lassoing those runaway thoughts.

STEP ONE

Realize the Enemy’s True Identity
On Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, after I got my son off to school and my husband off to work, I took a long walk through my neighborhood. The sky was crystal clear blue with a gentle breeze. It was a gorgeous cool North Carolina fall day with just a hint of color on the leaves. There was nothing special on my schedule – just the ordinary. However, one hour later, because of a horrendous terrorist attack on our country in New York City and Washington, DC, by evil personified, the day turned into anything but ordinary. I watched in horror as the television played and replayed the airplanes crashing into the World Trade Center towers and the Pentagon.

Amazingly, we never saw it coming. As I thought about that, God reminded me: That’s how the enemy always attacks. When you least expect it.

Let’s think about another monumental day in our country’s history. On December 31, 1999, the country and the world braced for the potentially disastrous effects of Y2K.  Families and businesses alike prepared for months for what might occur as the clock ticked past 11:59 PM and into the new millennium. We held our breaths, clasped our hands and braced ourselves. Yes, we were ready. What happened? Nothing. The new millennium came without incident.

Oh dear friends, do you see the correlation? There is an enemy who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). His name is Satan. He desires to destroy us just as sure as the hijackers drove those airplanes into, and toppled, the twin towers in New York City.

Satan has other names – the devil, the accuser of the brethren, a liar, the father of lies, and the deceiver. A deceiver is someone who presents a lie in such a way, it sounds like the truth. He can make you believe something is not true when itis and make you believe something is true when it isn’t. He speaks in your own voice. The thoughts feel like you, because they are the old you that he has memorized so well. He’s not very creative, but he is very effective and he uses the same methods with us he’s used since the beginning of time.

The first step to changing the way we think is to recognize the enemy’s true identity.  It’s not your mother; it’s not your father; it’s not the person who abused you as a child.  The real enemy is Satan himself and he uses your past hurts and failures as cannon fodder to wound you. If you don’t have sufficient ammo in your past, he concocts some of his own.

In my next three devotions, we’ll continuing look at the steps for taking every thought captive. Mary and Gwen’s devotions will be interspersed. I don’t want you to miss them. I couldn’t go a week without these gal pals. But when I return, I’ll pick right back up where we left off and move on to Step Two of taking every thought captive.

Let’s Pray
Heavenly Father, I know that I cannot win a battle if I do not know who I am fighting.  Help me to recognize the enemy’s true identity. Spiritual warfare is very real. Today, I put on the armor of God and stand firm against the powers of the enemy. I am more than a conqueror through the power of Jesus Christ.
In His Name I pray and stand,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
Can you think of a time when you blamed someone for a difficulty in your life when it might have been an attack of the enemy?

Go back and read John 10:10. What does the enemy desire to do?

What is he called in John 8:44?

Why do you think it is important to know who the real enemy is in order to win the battle?

Log onto www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes or my blog page at www.sharonjaynes.com and share you answer.

More from the Girlfriends
Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind. If you would like to learn more about how to take every thought captive, Sharon’s book , I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves, is the perfect resource. This will help you change that stinkin’ thinkin’ and replace the lies with the truth. While you’re there, download a free sample chapter and watch the introductory video.

Sharon, Gwen and Mary’s new 12-week devotion book, Trusting God, is now available. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures…this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

Friend to Friend
Life is a marathon – not a fifty yard dash. When the psalmist says, “I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever,” he is reminding us that we were created for eternity. But instead of focusing on eternal things, we waste precious emotional energy and priceless spiritual power by fixing our gaze on the here and now. I am not saying that we need to ignore what God gives us to do today because the truth is that each step on each day’s path is filled with God ordained opportunities. What I am saying is that much of our stress comes when we measure life and hold it up against the wrong backdrop.

When our son was a little boy, he was photogenic and a full-fledged ham in front of just about any camera. I will never forget the day that a simple photo session turned into a holy moment for me.

Christmas was just around the corner which meant that it was time for new pictures. It seemed like everyone was having a special – you know the ones I’m talking about – where you get a ridiculous number of pictures for $2.99. When we arrived for our appointment, I was amazed to find that we were the only ones in the studio. The photographer took one look at the blue outfit Jered was wearing, and began to move props, pull down a different backdrop and rapidly snap pictures. Jered laughed, called out to the audience of shoppers strolling by and in general, put on quite a show. I was so proud!

When the session was done, the photographer asked if he could take some extra shots for his studio walls. Now I ask you, what mother is going to refuse that offer? Certainly not this one! For over an hour, Jered was framed against different colored backdrops as the photographer worked his magic. I began to notice a pattern. The blue backdrop made Jered’s bright blue eyes dance while the red backdrop heightened his jet black hair. With every backdrop, Jered’s appearance changed slightly. In was then that God quietly unveiled an extraordinary truth in an ordinary moment.

We must be very careful to choose the right backdrop against which we live our lives. Our backdrop is eternity – not the tyranny of urgent demands made by a relentless world. Our backdrop is an old rugged cross and an empty tomb – not the temporary trials or painful circumstances we face in this very fleeting life. We are “forever” people. Like the old song says, “This world is not my home. I’m just passing through.”

My favorite words in the Bible are “but God.” Those two words create an eternal backdrop that changes everything. Everything looks different when He comes. Everything is made different by His presence. To survive and succeed in life, we must stop and take the long look, refusing to fix our gaze on the “little things” that are meant to divert God’s plan. If we want to live a life of victory, our glance must be on the circumstances and ourgaze must be on Him.

A beekeeper once told pastor and evangelist, F.B. Meyer, how young bees are nurtured to ensure their healthy development. The queen lays each egg in a six-sided cell which is filled with enough pollen and honey to nourish the egg until it reaches a certain stage of maturity. The top is then sealed with a capsule of wax. When the food is gone, it is time for the tiny creature to be released. However, the wax is so hard to penetrate that the bee can only make a very narrow opening. In fact, the opening is so narrow that in the agony of exit, the bee rubs off the membrane that encases its wings. When the bee finally does emerge, its wings are strong enough to fly. The beekeeper said that a moth once got into the hive and devoured the wax capsules. The young bees easily escaped the capsule but they could not fly.

Choosing an eternal perspective is a spiritual discipline that makes stress yield to God’s peace. Does that mean we will float through each day without facing trials, defeats, enemies or impossibilities? No – but it does mean that the backdrop against which we view those dark moments will be replaced with the truth that there is an eternal purpose in every pain and that is through the struggle out of that darkness that we gain the strength to fly and become all God created us to be – now and forever.

Let’s Pray
Father, thank You for the eternal life I have in You. Forgive me when I get so caught up in the things of this world that I forget who I am and where I am going. I am Your child. I am Your daughter and my home is in Heaven with You. Praise God!
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
Does your life reflect the truth that you were made for Heaven?

Against what backdrop are you living your life?

Read Philippians 3:20. “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control; will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body” (NIV).

Where is your eternal citizenship?

More from the Girlfriends
If you have surrendered your life to Jesus Christ and made Him the Lord of your life, you can celebrate that fact that your eternal citizenship is in Heaven. But if you don’t know Him, today is the day to invite Him into your life. Need help? Click HERE to find out how to make the most important decision of your life.

Mary’s weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey, will help you learn how to understand and apply God’s truth in your life. Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Sharon, Gwen and Mary’s new 12-week devotion book, Trusting God, is now available. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures…this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

Friend to Friend
Several years ago, my family went on an excursion out West. We flew to Nevada, rented a car, and then proceeded to log in 2500 miles in ten days. One of our stops was Jackson Hole, Wyoming – Cowboy Country.

On Saturday night, we attended the local rodeo. There we sat, three city slickers among whoopin’ hollerin’ locals. The cowboys’ skills entertained and amazed those of us who thought a Bronco was a 4-wheel drive. Cowboys, young and old, rode bucking broncos, raced around barrels, and conquered angry bulls. But the most thrilling event was the lassoing contest.

We all sat on the edge of our seats as the cowboy waited, poised in his saddle, anticipating the calf’s release from the chute. The corral door swung open and the calf burst from the gate. The cowboy exploded through a second door with lasso in hand, and pursued the bucking, twisting, galloping animal. He lassoed the calf’s neck, threw him to the ground, quickly wrapped the rope around his legs, tied them securely in place, and immediately jumped up and raised his arms in victory. As the victor stood receiving his applause, his trained steed took three steps backward to secure the rope in place.

The timer continued to run for a few seconds to make sure the calf was indeed captive.  Then the cowboy’s time was posted on the scoreboard. Time and time again, cowhands lassoed little calves, secured their captives, and raised their hands in victory. Only a few times did a calf escape the rope and make his way out the door on the other end of the corral.

I’ll admit that I was feeling a bit sorry for the little calves, even though they were released as soon as the time was logged. The first time one escaped the lasso, I applauded wildly.  Angry onlookers let me know with a glare that cheering for the calf was not acceptable.  As I continued to watch the contest, the Lord prodded my mind and told me to look and learn. Suddenly it hit me. This event was a perfect picture of what Paul described in today’s truth.

Those calves reminded me of wild and wooly thoughts that burst forth from the stable of my mind at times: negative, rebellious, fearful, angry, worrisome, jealous, degrading thoughts that are untamed and unruly, bucking, jumping and running wild across pleasant plains. And when my thoughts are ungodly, my reaction should be like the cowboy’s: ride up hot on the thought’s heels, lasso it with the truth, tie it up securely, and throw it in the dust. My response should be just like the cowboy’s trusty trained horse who, automatically, because of practice, takes three steps backward to make sure the deceptive thought “ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Trained because of practice. Taking every thought captive. Yes siree. Let’s lasso those thoughts little sister, tie ‘em up, and throw em’ back in the dust where they came from in the first place. Then we can raise our arms in victory with all the heavenly hosts applauding in victory. And believe me, the faster we do it, the better.

In my next four devotions, we’ll look at four simple steps for taking every thought captive. Mary and Gwen’s devotions will be interspersed. I don’t want you to miss them. I couldn’t go a week without these gal pals. But when I return, I’ll pick right back up where we left off in taking every thought captive.

My prayer is that you’ll put these steps into practice in your own life and light up the scoreboard with victory in lassoing those runaway thoughts.

See you next time!

Let’s Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, sometimes my thoughts run wild. I believe things are true when they aren’t and don’t believe things are true when they are. Help me to take every thought captive that is not of You. Fill me with Your Truth.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
When is the last time you had a runaway thought that was not godly?

At what point did you realize the thought was not of God?

Look up Philippians 4:8 and meditate on this litmus test for our thoughts.

Pick one of the guidelines from Philippians 4:8 and tell me which one you are going to focus on today at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.

More from the Girlfriends
Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind. If you would like to learn more about how to take every thought captive, Sharon’s book, I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves, is the perfect resource. This will help you change that stinkin’ thinkin’ and start believing the truth. While you’re there, download a free sample chapter and watch the introductory video.

Sharon, Gwen and Mary’s new 12-week devotion book, Trusting God, is now available. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures…this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10, NKJV).

Friend to Friend

Jesus lived and died so that we can experience abundant life, a life exuding joy, a life so full that others crave to know the source of that fullness. Jesus did not come so that we can merely survive life. Pagans can survive life. Jesus came to be our joy.

I came across this quote: “Joy is the flag that flies above the castle of our hearts indicating that the King reigns within.” If that is true, then why are so many women living lives with little or no joy? I’m afraid that we have bought the lies of the enemy, allowing him to steal our joy. Discouragement, weariness, disillusionment, shattered dreams and unrealized goals are some of his favorite weapons, but the truth is that the enemy can only use what we allow him to use.

It is time for us to reclaim surrendered ground. Do you sometimes think you are fighting the same old battles you have been fighting for years? I do. Clinging to familiar pain, we find our identity there. Consumed with our own agenda, joy is buried under a mountain of self.

Joy is not the result of outward circumstances. Joy is an inside job, a deeply rooted confidence that God is in control. Every trial or loss, every defeat or victory measured against this confidence can be counted as joy.

The Apostle Paul was a man of great joy. By human terms, he had every right to be angry and even bitter. Persecuted, imprisoned and facing His own death, Paul says, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-12, NIV).

The expression, “Have a good day” is a common greeting. I heard about one woman who, when told to have a good day, responded, “Thanks, but I have other plans.” Sound familiar? We rise to face each day with a perspective of pending doom instead of the certain joy that is ours through Jesus Christ. God created the world in a process of one day at a time. At the end of each day, He examined his work and announced: “It is good!” We, too, can learn to see the good in each day. We can learn to be joyful. How?

• Check your heart.

“My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God” (Psalm 84:2, NAS).

In this verse, “heart” literally means “body and soul” or “whole being.” In other words, what’s down in the well comes up in the bucket. Real joy is found in and flows from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. God’s very presence in our lives is His eternal reminder that Jesus died on a cross, rose from the grave and is coming again. Have you turned your heart and life over to Jesus?

• Choose to rejoice.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2, NIV).

We cannot avoid pain but we can avoid joy. The pursuit of joy is a matter of choice. Our inward perspective does not have to reflect our outward circumstances. We can choose joy!

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, a baseball cap on his head, ball and bat in hand. He was muttering, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Then he tossed the ball in the air, swung at it and missed. “Strike one!” He picked up the ball, threw it into the air and said to himself, “I’m the greatest hitter ever!” He swung at the ball again. “Strike two!” He paused, examined his bat and ball and threw the ball into the air, missing a third time. He cried out, “Wow! I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”

Yes, the pursuit of joy is a matter of choice and perspective. It is also a matter of obedience. As Christians, one of our spiritual priorities should be joy.

“One ship sails east.

One ship sails west.

Regardless of how the winds blow,

It is the set of the sail

And not the gale

That determines the way we go.”

(Author unknown)

Set your sails for joy, girlfriend! Celebrate! Revel in who God is, in what He has done, is doing and will do in your life when you choose joy.

Let’s Pray

Father, I come to You with praise in my heart and on my lips. Forgive me when I doubt You and what You are doing in my life. Please help me to walk by faith – not by sight. Teach me to see my daily life through Your eyes and show me how to walk in Your joy.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

How would you define joy? Would the people who know you best describe you as a woman of joy?

Read Psalm 16:11. “Being with You will fill me with joy.” What does this verse say to you about the connection between God’s presence and a life of joy?

What is blocking the flow of God’s joy in your life? Is it a sin you need to confess? A relationship you need to make right? A step of obedience you need to take? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what action you need to take to experience the joy of the Lord.

More from the Girlfriends

You were created for joy. I know that life can be painful but God’s plan for an abundant life takes that pain into account. Need help? Check out Mary’s CD, Laugh More … Live Better. Also available in E-Bible Study and MP3 download.

Don’t miss Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey, to learn how to understand and apply God’s truth in your daily life. Enroll now and have access to all 2012 lessons. Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure? Get a copy of our new book, Trusting God