Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:30, MSG).

Friend to Friend 
I had just arrived at my favorite coffee shop. As I opened the door, the smell of freshly brewed java greeted me and filled my creative mind with possibilities. I was eager to get to work and excited that my warm, happy coffee-friend would come along with me for the ride. As I grabbed a cup from the counter and paid, I asked the barista how she was doing.

“I’m exhausted!” She lamented with a sigh.

I knew exactly how she felt. I feel that way a lot! I’m famous for trying to put ten pounds of living into a five-pound sack. She was tired. Stressed. Drained. Over-committed. Under-rested. Exhausted. Yep. I totally know that feeling.

Have you been there? Ha! Of course you have! It’s so easy for us to rush into our days and get busy with life stuff, attempting to accomplish mountains of tasks and emotional situations in our own strength. We are constantly pulled in a million directions. Trying to juggle the slow, steady drain of complicated relationships, crazy schedules, and weighty challenges.

The simple truth is, our exhaustion problems can’t be solved without God. I find it comforting to realize that we aren’t the first people to struggle with feelings like this. All throughout Scripture people got worn-out and lamented about their tired souls. David wrote countless Psalms about being weary, and Elijah was so exhausted at one point that he sank into a deep depression and lost his God-courage. Jesus spoke to a crowd of people in Galilee one day about the only sure-fire solution to our exhaustion problem.

He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

The MESSAGE paraphrase of those same verses reads this way, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG)

When you keep company with Jesus you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Does that sound appealing to you? If so, then it’s time to respond to His invitation. Whether you have thirty seconds or thirty minutes, pause now to turn to Him. Grab your prayer journal if you have one. Center your heart on His splendor and approach Him with reverence. While you are in His presence, empty your exhaustion out before Him. Tell Him the concerns on your heart and take a soul rest.

That day in the coffee shop, as I filled my cup I gave my exhausted, coffee-serving friend a smile and a knowing look. Then I spoke a word of hope to her heart and encouraged her to refuel in the secret place, the presence of God. She smiled back and thanked me for the reminder. She loves the Lord, but – like all of us – she sometimes forgets that soul rest is available.

Keep company with Him today. All day. When you do, you’ll experience His strength for each moment and His hope in each challenge. Live freely and lightly in Jesus, girlfriend.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, You are mighty to save and all I need. Thank You for reminding me that I can always come to you and trade in my exhaustion for Your rejuvenation. I come to You today and ask that You would restore rest to my soul.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen

Now It’s Your Turn

Read and meditate on the words that Jesus spoke to His apostles when they were tired and weary one day, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” (Mark 6:31b, NIV) Now read it again and add your name to it.

RESPOND: Allow the music and lyrics of “Sacred Place” to lead you into God’s presence right now. Turn up the speakers on your computer and CLICK HERE to listen to the song as you center your heart, mind, and soul on the Holy One.

More from the Girlfriends

I know some of you are carrying heavy loads of exhaustion. Free living might sound like a promise for other people, but not for you. Perhaps you are dealing with a constant strain in your life. God sees you, friend. He knows your struggles. He’s able to work out the details. Trust Him for strength and rest…whether He delivers you from the exhaustion or through it. Let’s pray for one another and continue the conversation over on my blog.

If you enjoyed this devotion, subscribe to Gwen’s newsletter. Big Bonus: when you subscribe to the newsletter, you will receive a free song download! How fun is that? Thanks for doing life with us!

Are you ready to go deeper with God? What does trusting God really look like for a woman with your relationships and set of circumstances? Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith and Mary Southerland will help you experience the exciting journey of discovering personal peace in the ups and downs of life.

Love is patient, love is kind…it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs, (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV). 

Friend to Friend

She was at it again. Mrs. Barnett was getting out the scorecards and tallying up the points.

I sat with an older woman as she began enumerating her family’s shortcomings. “Callie never comes to see me,” she began to complain about her granddaughter. “And she never calls me either. I saw her sitting on the other side of the church last week and she didn’t even come over and give me a hug.”

“Benjamin is just as bad,” she continued, talking about her grandson. “He never comes by unless he wants something. I never hear from him, but if he wants money for a mission trip you better believe I get a letter. He’s just like his father,” she continued. “He never pays any attention to me unless he wants something.”

Throughout our time together, Mrs. Barnett mentioned several family members and friends who had disappointed her, who had not lived up to her expectations, and who had not given her the love she “deserved.” The more I listened; the clearer a picture began to take shape in my mind.  I envisioned Mrs. Barnett with a big stack of scorecards. At the top of each card was a name: a grandchild, a child, a friend, a pastor, and yes, even one with my name printed across the top.  If someone telephoned her, they got 1point. If they stopped by for a visit, they got 1 point. If they gave her a hug without being asked, they got 1 point. If they told her she looked pretty, they got 2 points.

However, if they did not show the proper display of affection, they lost 5 points. If they did not come by for a visit within the expected amount of time, they lost 5 points. If they did not send her a card on the appropriate days, they lost 5 points. Birthday cards, Christmas gifts, phone calls, visits, etc, were all tallied on mental scorecards for later retrieval. She was very busy keeping track of all the plusses and minuses for each person.

I shook my head to clear away the movie being played in the theater of my mind and tried to pay attention to our conversation. After all, I didn’t want to get a bad mark on my scorecard that day.

Friend, let me tell you a great life lesson. As long as this woman keeps mental scorecards on the people in her life, she is going to be miserable. And if you or I keep scorecards for the people in our lives, we will be miserable as well.

First Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind…it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs,” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Love is about giving – not necessarily about giving money or gifts, but giving love. Can I say that again? Love is about giving love. Love does not keep a record of wrongs or perceived wrongs. It does not involve an accounting tally sheet of debits and credits or scorecards of plusses and minuses. It does not keep a running list of kindnesses to reward those who come out on top and shun those who do not.

Self-centeredness says, “What has that person done for me lately?” Love says, “What can I do for that person today?”

Self-centeredness makes mental lists of how others have disappointed them. Love makes mental lists of ways they can bless others.

Self-centeredness withholds affection and approval from those who don’t deserve it. Love gives affection unconditionally because none of us do deserve it.

Self-centeredness says, “Come here and give me a hug.” Love says, “Come here and let me hug you.” Can you tell the difference? A ten-year-old certainly can. He or she might not be able to verbalize the difference or even recognize it, but they certainly feel the difference in the pit of their stomachs and in the tenderness of their hearts.

With genuine love, there are no scorecards. I’m certainly glad God tore up mine long ago.

David wrote, “If you, O LORD, kept a record of sin, O Lord, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3 NIV). Certainly not me! If God doesn’t keep a scorecard, making notes of the ways I have offended Him, disappointed Him, or not given Him the attention He deserves, then why do I think I have the right to keep scorecards on the people in my little world? He doesn’t give plusses and minuses and then tally up our cards to see whether or not we deserve His love.   So why do we do it to others? God gives and gives and gives, and gets very little in return. Why does He do that? Because He loves you and me perfectly, wholly, and unconditionally.

Scorecards. Do you keep them? Do you keep mental lists of what people do and don’t do to deserve your love? If so, you’ll never be content or at peace in your relationships. No one may see the scorecards sitting on your coffee table, but they’ll know they are there. They will see them in your eyes, hear them in your tone, and sense them in your touch. And there may be a few brave souls who refuse to play the game and decide to bow out of your life altogether.

Here is what I would like to suggest. Tear up the scorecards. Here’s how:

Get a stack of index cards. Write one person’s name at the top of each card. Start with your children, your grandchildren, your parents, your in-laws, your spouse, your siblings, your pastor.  Then move on to your circle of friends. Beside each name, write the words, “Scorecard.” For example: Beth’s Scorecard.

Hold the stack of scorecards in your hand and pray:

“Dear Lord, I am no longer going to keep a scorecard for ____________.  Help me love like You love – unconditionally, with no strings attached. Help me to be thankful for the attention I do receive rather than resentful for what I don’t. I do not want to become a bitter old woman that people avoid, but a grateful, graceful lady people enjoy. And Lord, whenever I begin to fall into the old habit of making mental notes of how someone did not live up to my expectations, I pray that You will convict me quickly and help me to replace the negative thoughts with a prayer of thanksgiving.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

After you have prayed, take each scorecard in your hands and tear it into tiny pieces. Now, throw them away. Be free. Be blessed. Enjoy life.

Today’s devotion didn’t follow our normal pattern of Let’s Pray and Now It’s Your Turn, but it is all there. If you actually did this exercise, I’d love to hear about it. You can email me privately at Sharon@sharonjaynes.com or leave a comment on my blog page at www.sharonjaynes.com.

More from the Girlfriends

One of the ways we build relationships or destroy relationships is with the words we speak. Words can make or break a marriage, encourage or discourage a child, draw in or push away a friend. If you would like to tame your tongue and learn how to use your words to speak life into those in your sphere of influence, check out my book, The Power of a Woman’s Words and accompanying study guide. It is a favorite for Women’s Bible studies and small groups.

Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Martha was so frustrated with her marriage. She had dreams of marrying her knight in shining armor who would leave flower petals on her pillow, be distracted by her beauty, and pledge his undying love on a regular basis. She dreamed of having three doting, obedient, well-mannered children that she could dress-up in cute little outfits and parade down the church aisle on Sundays. Her tidy home would come with a well-manicured lawn, two and a half baths, and perfectly coordinated décor. She would be the happy homemaker who joyfully mopped the beautiful kitchen floor in her size six khaki slacks, shabby chic blouse, and stylish haircut. She could almost picture Mr. Clean winking at her from the corner of the room, giving his hearty approval of the smile on her flawless face.

But life had not turned out like Martha expected. Her knight did come along, but his armor began to tarnish soon after they said, “I do.” He left his smelly socks on the floor, had a love affair with the TV remote, and hardly noticed all the work she did to keep the house clean and orderly.

Life sure has not turned out the way I thought it would, she thought. I am bored and unappreciated. Romance: that’s what I want. This man wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the face. Why should I care how I look? He sure doesn’t care about his appearance. Look at that gut? He complains about me gaining weight? Well, he hasn’t seen nothin’ yet. I’ve made a huge mistake. I just want someone who will love me and appreciate me. Is that too much to ask? 

And the kids? They never do what I ask. They’re disobedient, loud, and messy. I don’t know when I’ve seen a clean floor last. And where is Mr. Clean anyway?

The enemy had slowly crept in while Martha was unaware. Unmet expectations became the breeding ground for the lies to grow. He planted the seeds of discontent one disappointment at a time. Rather than thinking how she could make her marriage better, she began thinking about how she could get out of it. Rather than enjoying her rambunctious children, she loathed their energy. Rather than being thankful that she had a home and family to clean up after, she complained about the dirt.

“Martha just needs to give her life to Jesus,” you might say. But she has! She is a Christian. So on top of her disappointment with life, she added guilt to it all. I’m a bad Christian, she thinks. If I was a better Christian, I’d be happy. What’s wrong with me?

Girlfriend, the enemy’s fingerprints are all over this woman’s thought life. He has pointed her down the road of stinkin’ thinkin’ and she’s stumbled into the pit. While she assumes these thoughts are her own concoction, it is the enemy who has made the suggestion. She simply bought into them and made them her own. They became her own version of reality – her own version of the truth.

Paul gave us an effective lie detector through which to filter our thoughts in Philippians 4:8-9.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Now that is a lot to think about, considering that the mind thinks about 130 words per minute.   But the good news is – we are not on our own. God has given us the power of the Holy Spirit to enable us to do all that He has called us to do.

Paul doesn’t just leave us with the qualifying list; he gives us the means by which to implement it. “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice.”

It takes practice! Practice! Practice! Practice!

But look at the result…”And the God of peace will be with you.”

Let’s Pray

Dear heavenly Father, help me to realize when my thinking needs adjusting. I know that I cannot act differently than I think. Help me to run my thoughts through the sieve of Philippians 4:8 so that Your peace will rule in my heart.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Make a list of the litmus test for right thinking and carry it around with you today.

Ask yourself, is this thought:

True

Noble

Right

Pure

Lovely

Admirable

Excellent

Praiseworthy

If your words or thoughts don’t pass the test, then push the delete button and erase that stinkin’ thinkin’!

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was taken from my book, I’m Not Good Enough and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. If you need to start speaking the truth to yourself about yourself, then this is the book for you. And if it is the words that you speak to others that need an overhaul, then you’ll want to see The Power of a Woman’s Words.  In this book we look at our words and the power we posses, the people we influence, and the power to change.

“In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).

Friend To Friend

A minister was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine. As he was pounding away, he noticed a little boy watching him. The youngster didn’t say a word so the preacher kept on working, thinking the boy would leave – but he didn’t. Pleased at the thought that his work was being admire, the pastor finally asked, “Trying to pick up some pointers on gardening?” The little boy said, “Nope. I’m just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer.”

The people around us want to see what happens when life pushes our buttons and anger puts the squeeze on our emotions. While God created us with the capacity for strong emotions, it is our responsibility to control them instead of allowing them to control us. Yesterday, we looked at four ways to manage anger. Here are four more:

Be focused.   

Psalm 37:8 “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”

I witnessed the utter strength and beauty of our daughter-in-law as she went through hours of labor during the birth of our twin grandchildren. The pain was excruciating, but Jodi worked through each contraction by doing two things: controlling her breathing and choosing a focus point. We need to do the same when we are angry. Take a deep breath and focus on the peace of God.

Be understanding.  

James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen.” 

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—to listen twice as much as we speak. When you find yourself getting angry with someone, take time to listen to what the other person has to say. Make sure you understand their viewpoint. In fact, it might be a good idea for you to repeat it back to make sure you do get the real point. Only then, when you have processed that information and reigned in your emotions, should you offer a reply. Listening for the purpose of understanding plays a significant role in anger management.

Be kind. 

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

It had been one of “those” mornings and I was behind schedule in preparing to teach the women’s Tuesday morning Bible study at our church. I am fairly certain I did not exude peace and joy as I rushed around. Finally, it looked like everything was ready – everything except my heart. I knew I needed to spend some time alone with God before standing to teach His Word, so I found a quiet room where I could escape for a few minutes of solitude. As I began to pray, the door flew open and crashed against the wall behind it as the husband of one of our group leaders burst into the room. I could tell by the look on his face that he was not happy and that whatever was wrong was definitely my fault. In a very loud and very angry voice, the man began to explain the problem, ending his tirade with the question, “And just what are you going to do about it?” I knew what I wanted to say to the man. I also knew God didn’t want me to say it. In a rare moment of wisdom, I faced my accuser with a smile and whispered, “I’ll tell you exactly what I am going to do. I am going to do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

I was completely unprepared for the man’s reaction. His mouth fell open, his eyes widened in surprise – no, make that shock – and he stumbled backwards as if I had hit him. We stared at each other for what seemed like an hour before he finally whispered back, “Thank you.” Without another word, the man turned and literally ran out of the room. The most amazing part of this story is that from that day on, he has been one of my strongest encouragers.

The next time someone makes you angry, put a smile on your face. It is hard to stay upset when you are smiling. Smiling is one of the best anger management tips because you can do it anytime, almost anywhere, and to pretty much anyone. The next time you are angry, choose to give a friendly smile of understanding, appreciation, or patience as you listen to the other side of the story.

Be ready.

1 Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

The best way to manage anger is to prevent it in the first place. How? Balance your schedule and priorities so that you will not live in a constant state of frustration and exhaustion. Avoid spending time with angry people. Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man; do not associate with one easily angered.” We really do become like the people with whom we spend the most time. Pray constantly, asking the Holy Spirit to help you cultivate the habits that encourage peace – not anger. Memorize Scripture. The Word of God is a powerful weapon in dealing with and managing our emotions.

Anger is today’s emotional epidemic. What does it take to make you angry? Do you have a short fuse or a long one? How many relationships in your life have been damaged by your anger? Remember … more important than the way you were and more important than the way you are … is the way you can be. Right now, surrender your anger to God and thank Him for a new beginning.

Let’s Pray

Father, I need Your power and strength to help me control my anger. Forgive me for the damage and pain my anger has caused the people in my life. I want my emotional health to honor and please You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Now It’s Your Turn

Review all of the anger management tips we have explored. How can you plug these tips into your daily life? I encourage you to recruit a girlfriend who will hold you accountable for the way you handle anger. Check in with her once a week. Be honest and open about your anger level.  Journal your thoughts … the truths God gives you … the progress you make.

More from the Girlfriends

Learning how to control our emotions is an important step in our spiritual maturity. If you need help in controlling anger, check out Mary’s E-Bible Study, Anger Management 911 and don’t miss Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

“In your anger, do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).

Friend to Friend

Everyone has to deal with anger. The challenge is to deal with anger in the right way. Anger is powerful – an emotional warning that something is wrong. We have been hurt or rejected. Something has changed and we don’t like it!

Anger itself is not sin. We just have to learn to express anger in the right way. Mishandled anger is destructive but anger that is handled correctly can become a tool for good. God’s Word is filled with tips for learning to handle anger in a healthy and godly way.

Be still.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”

If we are busy, it is much easier to ignore or refuse to face and deal with the real source of anger. Anger that is not dealt with in the right way accumulates over time, allowing bitterness to take root and rage to simmer just below the surface of everything we do, say, think or feel. In order to manage anger, we need to incorporate frequent and regular “stops” into our schedules; time set aside to simply be still and hear the voice of God.

Be quiet.

James 1:19-20 “Everyone should be slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

Our first response to conflict is often not a response at all … but a reaction. We jump in with a brutal rebuttal or a thoughtless correction – which is like pouring gasoline on a fire. An explosion is bound to happen. Our first action should be to stop and think instead of rushing to respond in a way that could escalate tensions or provoke an offensive response from others. Listen to the other person before responding. Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

Be wise.

Proverbs 25:28 “Like a city whose walls are broken down, is a man who lacks self-control.”

Wisdom is doing the right thing at the right time for the right reason. Anger management comes from wisdom rooted in self-control. I love the story of Jesus driving the money-changers out of His Father’s temple. In John 2:15, Scripture says Jesus “made a whip out of cords.” Don’t miss this picture. At the height of His anger, Jesus gathered several cords and braided a whip. I imagine it took several minutes at least to form a whip substantial enough to drive grown men anywhere. I think Jesus was so angry that He knew He needed to cool off, so He deliberately chose to be still, quiet and wise. When we are close to losing control of anger, we need to be wise.

Be discerning.  

Psalm 4:4 “In your anger do not sin … search your hearts and be silent.”

The longer I work with people the more I realize that there is always a reason for their behavior.  Hurt people – hurt people. When you are angry at someone, ask yourself why. Think back to what led up to the conflict. Was it something someone said to you? Has a past problem triggered your present anger? Give yourself time to consider why you are upset and what you should do to handle it in a way that pleases God.

God created us with the capacity for emotions. That means He has a right plan and a right place for emotions in our lives. Anger management is a spiritual discipline that God honors, blesses and empowers. Tomorrow, we will look at four more ways God gives us to control anger.

Let’s Pray

Father, please forgive me when I allow anger to control what I say and do. I want to honor You in the way I manage my emotions – especially the anger in my life. Fill my heart with Your peace. Help me cultivate the spiritual discipline of anger management and learn how to control my emotions instead of allowing them to control me.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Evaluate the level of anger in your life. Would people who know you well describe you as an angry person? Identity the source of your anger; then make the commitment to face and deal with whatever is causing your anger. Review each anger management tip. Which one jumps out at you as a starting point for learning to control anger in your life? Read and memorize the verse of Scripture listed with that tip. Pray – asking God to show you the steps you need to take today to manage the anger in your life. Record your thoughts and the truths God gives you in your journal. 

More from the Girlfriends

Learning how to control our emotions is an important step in our spiritual maturity. If you need help in controlling anger, check out Mary’s E-Bible Study, Anger Management 911 and don’t miss Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win” (1 Corinthians 9:24).

Friend to Friend

Do you ever wonder if you are too busy as a couple, as a family – or if your plate is fuller than God might have intended for you as an individual? We each have our own God given life pace for which God has designed us. One pace is not right or wrong, because everyone has a pace at which he/she functions best. Bicycles have gears on them so you can find the right pace regardless of the terrain you are riding on, and in the verse above the writer references track and field races. A participant in a 100 yard dash will sprint to the finish, and a cross country runner, or marathoner will jog out a consistent, but not frenetic, pace. To win, they need to run their race at their pace. It will be less stressful if each person in your family knows his or her pace or the speed at which they function best at living life. In my husband Bill’s newest book, 10 Best Decisions a Man Can Make, he shares an easy-to-use way to identify and evaluate your pace by using five categories of vehicles that describe the characteristics for the speed at which each of us can live: The Muscle Car, The Sports Car, The Semi, The Mail Truck and The Tractor. (Take time to do this activity on a date, with your children around a meal, or with friends over coffee. It makes for some interesting conversation! It also leads to greater understanding and fewer arguments as you get to know those you love better.)

The Muscle Car

Muscle cars have big engines and are designed to go in a straight line with an abundance of pull and dramatic speed. These are the people who like to go fast and stay focused forward, charging hard toward goals. They often make quick decisions, and pursue big opportunities. A Biblical example would be Paul, the apostle who became a believer and quickly turned into a prolific church planter. 

The Sports Car

Some of you move more like sports cars. These vehicles are fun, agile and quick. They prefer roads that have lots of turns and quick transitions. They live for the surprise around the next corner of life. They tend to be spontaneous in decision-making and can change directions quickly to take advantage of what they see is a great opportunity.  A Biblical example is Philip who was on his way to one city when God sent him in a completely different direction so someone could hear about the love of God.

The Semi

Some people operate in life more like a semi truck. These people start and stop slowly because they prefer to plan out life. They maintain a steady and even pace because they often carry a great amount of faithful day in and day out type of responsibility. They do not like quick change; they prefer to take time to navigate course corrections. A Biblical example is Martha, who handled most of the hospitality for a house full of Jesus’ followers on a daily basis.

The Mail Truck

These people have a sign on their backs, “Makes Frequent Stops.” They are intensely interested in individuals and are peaceful even if life is consistently interrupted by conversations, projects and helping people. Life has a route, but their pace is slower because they are constantly checking on the people in their world and their well-being. A Biblical example would be Barnabas who set aside his agenda to take on John Mark as a mentoring project until John Mark was mature and ready to lead again.

The Tractor

Tractors are incredibly useful but they move slowly. These are people who dig in their heels if pushed to accomplish tasks too fast. These folks also do not enjoy sharp turns and tend to work at a slower, even pace, even if the schedule suggests they should speed up to make a deadline. A Biblical example might be Ruth who daily went to the grain fields to glean (a slow, steady task) in order to provide for her and her mother-in-law.

Which of the five vehicles best represents the pace at which you like to live? In our family, I (Pam) am a speedy, spontaneous sports car; Bill is a faithful, people-oriented mail truck. We have one son who is like me, one who is a muscle car and another who is a semi. Before I recognized that each person’s pace is a God-given gift for that person to live out their unique calling in life, I used to be frustrated that my “semi” slowed down our family’s ability to get out the door. And Bill, whose natural pace as a mail truck is slower than mine, could get frustrated with me, feeling pulled away from people and dragged through life at a pace where deep meaningful conversations were harder to accomplish.  Because two of us are sports cars, the others in the family have learned to trust our instincts for seizing an opportunity because their lives sometimes become much more fun or interesting because of our “Let’s try this NOW!” And when a task hits our family, like a broken washing machine, my engineer semi is just the man for the job because it requires a diligent, even, focused pace. On family vacations, we have a family meeting and decide what the family pace will be during our time together. And as our sons have married, knowing my daughter-in-laws’ life paces helps avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Let’s Pray

Lord, help me figure out my own pace and live in congruence with the way You wired me. Help me not compare myself in a negative way to others because of the pace I prefer to live life. Also, help me not be frustrated with those in my world when they run at the pace You created them to live their lives. Give us a spirit of appreciation and co-operation.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Now It’s Your Turn

Set aside time this week, or even today, to discuss the pace of life with the people you love. Affirm each of them with a compliment, noting that God’s pace inside each person is exactly the way God created him or her. Then dialogue on how to compromise to find a family pace that works when the whole group is gathered together.  

More from the Girlfriends

Bill and Pam Farrel are relationship experts, authors of over 38 books including best selling Men Are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti, and this new book, 10 Best Decisions a Man Can Make (and the accompanying DVD series). Resources (including a free articles page) by the Farrels can be found at www.Love-Wise.com

Everything is possible for him who believes, (Mark 9:23 NIV). 

Friend to Friend

Once, a distraught father had an unruly son with multiple physical and emotional problems. Many people even said the boy was possessed by a demon. The dad had tried everything, but the boy continued to demonstrate anti-social behavior: throwing himself in the fire and then in water. That sort of behavior, on top of frequent seizures, rolling on the ground, foaming at the mouth, and an inability to talk, made the dad desperate to find a solution. He even took the boy to some faith healers who were traveling through his hometown. But nothing seemed to work.

Finally, the dad realized no human being was going to be able to help his son, so he took him directly to God. The father heard that Jesus was visiting in his community, so he boldly brought the boy to Him. With desperation in his voice the father pleaded, “If You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!”

And Jesus answered, “If You can! All things are possible to him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father cried out, “I do believe: help my unbelief.”

With that profession, Jesus healed the man’s son.

Oh how this story from Mark 9 stirs my heart. Can’t you feel the father’s pain? How desperately he must have felt every time the child threw himself into the water or the fire.  “Why, Son? Why do you do these things? I don’t understand,” he must have asked.

Imagine the humiliation of the whispers as the family walked down the streets. “That’s the Jones family. Have you heard about their son? He’s….” The stares, the snickers, the off-color comments. Don’t you know there were many days when this dad wanted to just give up? Instead, he offers us a beautiful picture of what all parents must do, the ultimate act in parenting – hand our children over to God.

As mothers, at time we find ourselves at the end of our mental and emotional resources. We feel we have done everything humanly possible and don’t know the best action to take with our children. That’s exactly where God wants us every day: not depending on our human wisdom but on His unfathomable omniscience, not depending on our own strength but on His unlimited power. When we realize that we do not and never will have all the child-rearing answers and solutions, we discover the importance of giving our children to God. 

S.D. Gordon, in Quiet Talks on Prayer, said, “You can do more than pray, after you have prayed. But you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed.”

In my Bible, I keep a 4 x 6 laminated card with prayers for Steven that I have prayed for 29 years. (Yes, he is that old. Mercy!) You, too, can pray that your children will:

• Know Christ as Savior early in life. (Psalm 63:1, 2 Timothy 3:15)
• Have a hatred for sin. (Psalm 97:10)
• Be caught when guilty. (Psalm 119:71)
• Be protected from the evil one in each area of their lives: spiritual, emotional, and physical. (John 17:15)
• Have a responsible attitude in all their interpersonal relationships. (Daniel 6:3)
• Respect those in authority over them. (Romans 13:1)
• Desire the right kind of friends and be protected from the wrong friends. (Proverbs 1:10-11)

• Be kept from the wrong mate and saved for the right one. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)
• Be kept pure until marriage (as well as the one they marry). (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
• Learn to totally submit to God and actively resist Satan in all things. (James 4:7)
• Be single-hearted, willing to be sold out to Jesus Christ. (Romans 12:1-2)
• Be hedged in so they cannot find their way to wrong people or wrong places and that the wrong people cannot find their way to them. (Hosea 2:6)

Let’s Pray

(For those who have children still at home)

Dear God, today, I once again bring my child to you. Please show me how to parent this precious gift that you have given me. Help me to be the best mother that I can be. I pray that Your Holy Spirit will teach me, Your wisdom will guide me, and Your love will move me. Most of all, Lord, I give this child to You. Please make him (her) a servant after Your own heart.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

(For those with grown children)

Dear God,

My child is no longer under my roof or under my wing. He (She) is now out in the world making life decisions of his (her) own. I give this adult child to You, Lord. May he (she) seek You with all his (her) heart. I pray that You will protect him (her), guide him (her), and open his (her) heart to the truth of God’s Word every day.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Make a list of things about your child over which you have no control.

Now turn that list into a prayer and relinquish each item of concern to God.

Remember Jesus’ reply to the Father when He said, “If you can do anything…” Write today’s key verse down and commit it to memory.

Click over to my blog page and tell me the names of your children. Then let’s pray for each other’s children. Pray for the ones above your entry. If you don’t have children, list the name of 1-2 children that you pray for regularly (nieces, nephews, neighbors).

More from the Girlfriends:

Being a parent is the most difficult, rewarding responsibility that God has entrusted to us.  I am so glad that He doesn’t leave us to figure it out all on our own, but gives us the Bible as the ultimate handbook. If you would like to discover seven key elements of great parenting, see Sharon’s book, Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. 

And if you would like your own laminated prayer card, you can find that in the store section of my webpage as well.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

Friend to Friend

I am an average cook and a below average baker. Consequently, I am of little value in the “cookies from scratch” department. Our daughter, Danna, however, loves to bake and is very good at whipping up three-dozen cookies or her favorite yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I will never forget the day Danna baked her first batch of cookies from scratch.

It was a Saturday morning, and Danna had a “craving” for cookies. Not cookies in a package or from a store, but real cookies she insisted. Watching her gather all of the necessary ingredients, I asked which recipe she was planning to use. With a smug look of disdain, my competent daughter turned to her pitifully incompetent mother and explained that she didn’t really need a recipe. After all, she had made hundreds of slice and bake cookies, not to mention the dozens of brownies from a box. How hard could it be? I decided to watch.

The kitchen counters quickly filled with various bowls, a tub of butter, flour, vanilla and milk. Tossing an occasional gracious and confident smile my way, Danna mixed differing amounts of each ingredient and stirred vigorously. Satisfied that it “looked right,” she fished a cookie pan out of the cabinet, sprayed it with oil and began carefully spooning out the cookie dough. I was truly impressed. After setting the timer, she cleaned the kitchen, while waiting for the delicious results.

When the timer went off, Danna quickly pulled the cookies out of the oven, sliding them off the pan and onto a plate. They smelled good and looked good to me – but a skeptical frown met my encouraging words, warning of danger just ahead. Pinching off a bite, Danna popped the cookie into her mouth. Now keep in mind that my daughter does have a flair for the dramatic, but I was totally unprepared for the culinary eruption that followed.  Bits of cookie sprayed the kitchen counter and appliances as Danna coughed, choked, and strangled her way to the announcement that those cookies were “disgusting.” Grabbing the plate, she deposited her project in the garbage, and fished the cookie recipe out of a kitchen drawer, studying the magic formula. When I asked what went wrong, she explained through a sheepish grin, “I thought I knew how to make cookies on my own. So I didn’t read the recipe and left out the eggs.” One of the qualities I most admire in Danna is her persistence, which compelled her to begin again. The second time around, following the recipe resulted in scrumptious results. God’s plan is much the same.

God’s has a unique plan or “recipe” for each one of us. God reveals His plan through the Bible. It is the instruction book of life, the blueprint for life construction, and the road map for the journey. When we saturate our lives with God’s Word, it will naturally lead us and guide us according to His plan. Our greatest opportunity for success is to live that plan. God tucks into our very soul a discontentment with anything but His life “recipe.”  If we approach each day searching for His handprints in every situation, choosing to walk in obedience to His Word, we will surely find ourselves smack dab in the middle of God’s amazing purpose and plan.

The awesome truth is that more than we want to know His plan for our life, He wants us to know it and stands ready to guide us to and through that plan. The more time we spend with the Plan Maker, and the more we choose to obey His plan, the clearer that plan grows. God always reveals His plan to an obedient heart. Just as surely as Danna left the eggs out of her first effort, we leave Him out of our plans, and go our own foolish way.  Still, He waits. When the results are disastrous and we have made a mess of it all, He stands ready to begin again. We could save ourselves a lot of pain and futility if we simply read and follow the right set of directions.

Let’s Pray

Father, I want to thank You for loving me and for creating me in response to a great plan for my life. Forgive me when I try to do things in my own strength and in my own way. Help me learn to seek and walk in Your ways. I embrace Your plans and lay down my own.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read and memorize Jeremiah 29:11. Record it in your journal.

Look back over your life. Examine the times when you followed God’s plan. What were the results? Examine the times when you followed your own agenda. What were the results?

Read the following verses of Scripture and answer the questions listed below.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

• How does this verse of Scripture emphasize the fact that you and I were created in response to God’s plan, not as an afterthought or as an accident?

Psalm 8:3-5 “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”

• How do these verses line up with the way you see yourself right now? What one immediate change do you need to make in order to see yourself the way God sees you?

• Are you living a life plan that gives you hope and a future? Is it the right plan?

Read and memorize Isaiah 43:4 and make it one of your life verses. “You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you.”

More from the Girlfriends

Are you searching for the peace that can only be found in God’s perfect plan for your life? Get Mary’s E-Book Bible Study, How to Find Your Missing Peace. Looking for a practical and powerful Bible study for your daily quiet time or small group study? Check out Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you, (John 15:7, NIV).

Friend to Friend

I am blessed with some very special nieces and nephews. One of my favorite people in the world is my niece, Grace Anne. After college, Grace Anne served two years with a mission organization, teaching Physical Education in the Dominican Republic. Those two years were very different and difficult for Gracie. She didn’t have the luxury of hot showers, fast food, or texting. Her apartment was sparse, her friends were few, and her trips to the mall were non-existent.

But while Grace Anne didn’t have the luxuries and modern conveniences that we so take for granted, she did have the indulgence of a quieter life, a beautiful mountainous vista, and an increased proclivity to hearing God’s voice without the carnal clattering of our fast-paced society.

One day, Grace Anne e-mailed me about what God was teaching her. Let me share these wise words from one so young.

Hi Aunt Sharon,

I hope your Monday morning is going well so far! I haven’t started having class yet, so I thought that I would share with you something I have been reminded of lately.

I was reading Streams in the Desert the other day and read the scripture from Genesis 24:15, 26-27. “Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder…Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, ‘Praise be to the Lord … who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness.’”

I couldn’t remember the whole story from that scripture so I looked it up and was reminded of the great story of Abraham’s servant being obedient and putting his faith in God to provide a wife for Isaac.

Before the servant was even finished praying his request to God, God answered the prayer! I was reminded, “When we ask in faith and in Christ’s name–that is, in oneness with Him and His will–it will be given you,” (John 15:7). Since God’s Word cannot fail, whenever we meet these simple conditions, the answer to our prayer has already been granted and is complete in heaven as we pray, even though it may not be revealed on earth until much later. When we believe God for a blessing, we must have an attitude of faith and begin to act and pray as if the blessing were already ours.”

Reading this was such an encouraging reminder for me that when I make a request to God, I shouldn’t pray and then say to myself, “I hope that gets taken care of,” or “I hope it works out.” I should have confidence that ”even before I am finished making my request, the Lord has already answered it.” I just need to wait patiently!

Well, I guess I needed to be reminded of it again, because this morning was touching on the same subject. The Scripture was, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this,” (Psalm 37:5). The author of Streams in the Desert says, “The literal meaning of this verse is “Roll your way onto Jehovah and trust upon Him, and He works. This brings to our attention the immediacy of God’s action once we commit, or ‘roll’ any burdens of any kind from our hands to His.”

But if we don’t commit and trust that when we roll it over to him it will be taken care of, He cannot do this. He goes on to say, “Our expectation that He will work is the very thing enabling the Holy Spirit to accomplish what we have ‘rolled’ onto Him.’ At that point it is out of our grasp, and we are not to try to do it ourselves! HE WORKS! Take comfort from this and do not try to PICK IT UP AGAIN! What a relief it is knowing that He really is at work on our difficulty.”

How many times I try to pick up that “thing” again once I have already prayed about it. Why in the world? I have no idea!

Psalm 57:2 says “I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.” Another translation says, “He will perform the cause I hold in my hand.” So the very thing “I hold in my hand,” my classes today, preparing to come home in the summer, getting this new apartment, worrying about my finances, “this is what I can ‘cry out’ for Him to do ‘for me’, with the calm assurance He will perform it.”

Oh how I love this girl. And how I love our LORD who is using her to teach the world, and her Aunt Sharon, to have a greater faith in God.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Help me to have faith to believe that even as I utter a prayer, You are in the process of answering. Thank you for caring about the smallest details of my life. Fulfill Your purpose in me, and give me the faith to be a willing vessel.

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

As you read this devotion, did you see areas that you had not completely given to the Lord?

Do you tend to pray for God to take control, and yet continue to attempt to make things move along on your own?

When you pray, do you truly believe that God will answer? If not, what stands in your way of believing God?

Write ten on-going prayer requests that you have in your life. Now, beside each one write today’s truth.

Now, click over to my blog page and say, “I rolled my burdens from my hands to His.”

More from the Girlfriends

Rolling our burdens from our hands to God’s hands is all about trust. And here’s the thing, you don’t have to understand all there is to know about God to trust Him! Mary, Gwen and I have written a 12-week devotional book titled Trusting God. We also have free videos to go along with each week on our website Trusting God page. This book is the perfect book to study with a friend or a group of friends. Check it out at www.sharonjaynes.com.

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones (Proverbs 14:30, NIV).

Friend to Friend

We all know what it is like to be green with envy. We all struggle with jealousy at some point in life. Let’s be honest. How often do we look at another person and covet what we perceive to be their success? How many of us are not content to serve God with the gifts He has given us while whining about the fact that others have the gifts we want. We convince ourselves that our longing for a bigger platform is to further the Kingdom when, in reality, that longing is for self-promotion, fame and recognition. Ugly, isn’t it? Jealousy is one of the most dangerous emotions because it is one of the most destructive.

“Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy?” (Proverbs 27:4).

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (James 3:13-16).

James asks, “Who is wise and understanding among you?” The word “wise” describes one with moral insight and/or skill in the practical issues of life. The word “understanding” means “intellectual perception.” James asks these pointed questions and then calls for a spiritual “Show and Tell” when he says, “Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

James is sending us a strong message that wisdom and understanding are not measured by degrees, but by deeds. In other words, it is not how much we know that counts, but how much we are living that matters. We can talk a great spiritual game, but if we have a jealous heart, if we harbor envy, allowing it to creep into our lives and ministries, taking up residence, then we have no wisdom and are living a lie.

James defines jealousy as “bitter envy and selfish ambition” (James 3:14). “Bitter envy” literally means, “a nasty jealousy” while “selfish ambition” refers to “a contentious selfishness” or “a hostile ego.” “Selfish ambition” can also be translated as a “party spirit,” and was a term used by the Greeks to describe a dishonest politician who works the crowd, using every opportunity and every possible method to draw attention to himself in an effort to win votes. James is painting an ugly picture of jealousy.

I read about a fisherman who loved to catch crabs. After many years of experience, he learned that he never needed a top for his crab basket. If one of the crabs starts to climb up the sides of the basket, the others will reach up and pull it back down. What a perfect picture of jealousy! A jealous person tears others down in order to promote himself. And isn’t our world filled with people who do that?

“You are still not spiritual. You have jealousy and arguing among you. This shows that you are not spiritual. You are acting like people of the world” (1 Corinthians 3:3).

People of the world secretly cheer when their enemy fails.

People of the world are driven by ego.

People of the world want what everyone else has.

People of the world are suspicious of everyone, trusting no one.

People of the world resent the success of others.

People of the world are taught by envy and jealousy to take care of self above all others.

John and Dave were hiking when they spotted a mountain lion staring at them. John froze in his tracks but Dave sat down on a log, tore off his hiking boots, pulled a pair of running shoes from his backpack and quickly put them on. John looked at him in amazement! “You can’t outrun a mountain lion!” he said. Dave shrugged and responded, “I don’t have to! I just have to outrun you!” I am so glad that God’s people are not like that, aren’t you? Actually, Paul is writing to God’s people, warning them that jealousy is deadly to the unity of the church. Jealousy springs from a heart of insecurity and bubbles out in self-centered actions, arrogant words and divisive attitudes. We must realize that jealousy and envy are in direct opposition to the very nature of Jesus Christ and as a result, produce ungodly results such as:

• Pride

Jealousy triggers the release of a false pride. I read the story of a proud woodpecker that was tapping away at a dead tree when the sky unexpectedly turned black and the thunder began to roll. The woodpecker went right on working. Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck the old tree, splintering it into hundreds of pieces. Startled but unhurt, the haughty bird flew off, screeching to his feathered friends, “Hey, everyone, look what I did! Look what I did!” The jealous man must be first in everything. He cannot stand to see anyone except himself in the limelight. Pride is driven to boast. Pride is self-worship.

• Denial

Few jealous people realize that they are jealous, and even if they did, would deny it. Jealousy always opposes truth because truth always exposes jealousy. In James 3:13-16, James describes a destructive sequence that is initiated by envy and jealousy. First, selfish ambition leads to a party spirit, a spirit of rivalry. In order to “win the election,” we must resort to boasting, which usually involves lies.  When jealousy is present in our hearts, we oppose truth and our very life becomes a lie.

• Chaos

James 3:16 explains that where there is “envy and selfish ambition,” there is disorder. A world dominated by jealousy is a world in chaos. “Disorder” literally means “insurrection” and portrays the idea of an angry mob. In other words, when jealousy fills the heart, the life will be in chaos. Priorities are wrong. Focus is misplaced; contentment vanishes while joy and peace disappear. We become inward and our hearts unhealthy. Jealousy is simply not good for you.

• Sinful habits

James 3:16 explains that jealousy not only creates disorder and chaos, it invites “every evil practice” to take up residence in our lives. Jealousy gives the enemy a foothold, a command post from which he oversees the building of sinful habits. “Evil” literally means “worthless” or “of no account.” Jealousy consumes our lives with the pursuit of worthless things that do not matter.

Ecclesiastes 4:4 “All labor and all achievement that spring from man’s envy of his neighbor…is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Jealousy is a spiritual cancer that will invade and destroy whatever it touches. Everything we do from the motive of jealousy is empty and does not count in Kingdom work. We need to brutally and honestly examine every heart motive, and choose against anything or anyone who promotes jealousy and envy.

Let’s Pray

Lord, forgive me for allowing jealousy to be present in my life. I confess it to you as sin. Please strengthen me and help me guard my heart against any kind of envy. I love You, Father. You are all I need. Teach me to walk in Your ways and fill my heart with Your love and kindness.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Are any of the following characteristics or behaviors present in your life? If so, can you identify its source? What steps do you need to take in order to find victory in each area? Record your answers in your journal.

• Pride _____________________________________________________________________________
• Denial ____________________________________________________________________________
• Chaos ____________________________________________________________________________
• Sinful habits________________________________________________________________________

More from the Girlfriends

Do you need help learning how to withstand temptation? Get Mary’s E-Book Bible Study, Winning the War With Temptation. Looking for a practical and powerful Bible study for your daily quiet time or small group study? Check out Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.